Lore of the StikMan

The StikMan lore is thought to have originated with the Dani people, a highly territorial semi-fierce warrior people that inhabited the coastal barrier islands of Georgia pre-Columbian era 12 BCE. The Dani spoke a language unlike any other language in North America. No one knows anything about it.  

The Dani regularly practiced cannibalism of their enemies (or it should be said, tried to practice cannibalism but they didn't like the sight of blood. So, technically, they didn't eat anyone).  The Dani were an ill-tempered people that slept twenty-two hours a day. They hated everyone in the whole world especially the Spanish conquistadors that first made contact with the pseudo-fierce Dani in 1567 in what is now known as Whitemarsh Island. The word "Whitemarsh" comes from the old Dani vernacular meaning "Mangina."  

Ponce de Leon's expedition party were the first and only Europeans to make contact with the Dani and it did not go very well.  Most of de Leon's men refused to follow de Leon into the woods.  So they waited in the boat as de Leon did his thing. Ponce de Leon managed to escape the Dani by the hair of his chin(ny chin chin).

Prior to Mr. de Leon's escape Dani tribal chief, DuumDumDan, held four sticks in his left hand and the hair of an extinct wooly mammoth in his right and recited a spell of sorts. He then swallowed the stuff. It didn't go down very well so he washed it down with coconut water.That did the trick. Suddenly, DuumDumDan then began to shriek and dance, - the dance of the Dani which entailed clapping with their feet and slapping one another on the face! That's how they learned to deal with their aggression - slapping one another and throwing coconuts.    

DuumDumDan then began to transform (or at least seemed to transform). His hair turned golden blonde (kind of) and he seemed or appeared to grow extra two feet tall, making him a towering 5 foot 6 inches after he climbed up on a tree stump. He then leered down at Ponce de Leon and shrieked loudly sending de Leon scampering back as he held his hands over his ears for the sound of DuumDumDan could break glass and even the enamel on your teeth! Triple D then pointed at de Leon and screamed, I swallow your soul! Hearing those terrible words, Mr. de Leon tucked tail and ran away like a little bitch trying to make it to his boat on Tybee Island! DuumDumDan then threw his shoes at de Leon and began to chase him, hurling box turtles and pine cones at the fleeing and shrieking Ponce de Leon!    

Triple D chased the chump through the mangroves, swamps and the pine forests of what is now known as Whitemarsh Island, ripping small sticks off the branches as he went and hurling them at the shrieking, running Ponce de Leon!  The foot steps of DuumDumDan sounded like vague distant cannon fire as he stomped through the woods pursuing the ever frightened Ponce de Leon!  Over the river (Wilmington River) and through the woods, Ponce de Leon ran...with Tripple D hot on his heels!  

Breaking out of the heavily forested island of Little Tybee, Ponce de Leon continued running and shrieked hysterically to his men on the ship to fire the cannons at the DuumDumDan behind him!  The cannons sounded and blasted 25 pound kettle ball sized balls at DuumDumDan but they all missed him.  Providence seemed to be on Ponce de Leon's side as he ran into the churning surf of the Atlantic with DDDan right on his heels! Triple D stepped on an open oyster shell and cut his foot really bad and couldn't run any more, sadly.

DuumDumDan wept.

Then sharks attacked Triple D giving Ponce de Leon the break he needed to escape and board his ship and hastily make his way back to Spain, never to find the fountain of youth.

No one in Spain believed Ponce de Leon's story except one, Father Daniel El Banyo, who meticulously wrote down every detail so that future colonist would know the lore of the Stikman.

DuumDumDan required stitches on his foot.  To this day he still limps and hates Ponce de Leon.

Things did not go well for DuumDumDan. All of his tribal people thought he was a loser for letting Ponce de Leon get away and he was severely ridiculed and exiled into the swamps where he still resides to this day...Whitemarsh Preserve. To this day, DDD tries to redeem himself by occasionally popping up in the background of a blurry picture and scaring people with his long woolly hair and big feet

DuumDumDan is said to be very bitter and angry about the bad deal he got with that punkass de Leon. He tries to catch runners in the woods and explain to them that had he not cut his foot on that oyster shell he would of caught Ponce de Leon and would of eaten his soul (whatever that means).  

And that is how the folklore came to be known of the StikMan! True story!

From the anals of the Smithsonian Institute

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.